Father of the year moment #91:

Accomplishments vs. Realities of being a man (so far):

1. “I am 18, I am a man.” vs. receiving a selective service card and knowing what it actually means.

2. “I have my own apartment, I am a man!” vs. “Why the hell is the food bill so high? I just bought condiments!”

3. “I married this woman, I am a man!” vs. The wife: “No one gives a damn about your past accomplishments.” “Your decorating skills suck.” “You smell.” “Oh that looks nice — in the crawl space.” Etc.

4. “Look at my first born. It is only the best for her (him)!” vs. “24 newborn diapers = $25.00 — 10 size-4 diapers = $25.00. How does that work?

5. “I have a family, I am a man!” vs. “Life insurance? A will? You mean I am going to die at some point?”

6. “My kid is going to dominate at sports!” vs. “How much for (pick a sport/activity/lesson)? My kid isn’t even that good!”

7. “I am going to work to support my family, I am a man!” vs. Daycare bill. (Note: My children attend a very good daycare and I am not above a giving a plug — for a discount (unlikely)).

8. “Look at this house! I have all of this play area for my child.” vs. “Now how in the hell do I fix that?”

8a. “Look at this house! I have all of this play area for my child.” vs. The wife :“Whelp, we are pregnant with number 2, and we need a bigger house.”

9. “Look at this paycheck! I have made so much money!” vs. “Look at this paystub! This can’t be all of the money!”

I think I’ve just depressed myself.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑

Parenting and everything else is between.

This is our life with Identical Twin Boys

The Go to Girls Blog.

Family, Love, Life & Travel As we experience it.

Pencils and Popcans

Ramblings, musings and rants . . .

simple Ula

I want to be rich. Rich in love, rich in health, rich in laughter, rich in adventure and rich in knowledge. You?

Claire Leah Writes

Mind, motherhood and materialistic crap

Flavor Smasher

The ultimate place for smashing flavors

Paige Madison

Monograms and Mississippi

Just One Take

by Jacqueline Dotzenrod

Rebecca Yarros

Fearless Romance for Fearless Romantics

%d bloggers like this: