Accomplishments vs. Realities of being a man (so far):
1. โI am 18, I am a man.โ vs. receiving a selective service card and knowing what it actually means.
2. โI have my own apartment, I am a man!โ vs. โWhy the hell is the food bill so high? I just bought condiments!โ
3. โI married this woman, I am a man!โ vs. The wife: โNo one gives a damn about your past accomplishments.โ โYour decorating skills suck.โ โYou smell.โ โOh that looks nice — in the crawl space.โ Etc.
4. โLook at my first born. It is only the best for her (him)!โ vs. โ24 newborn diapers = $25.00 — 10 size-4 diapers = $25.00. How does that work?
5. โI have a family, I am a man!โ vs. โLife insurance? A will? You mean I am going to die at some point?โ
6. โMy kid is going to dominate at sports!โ vs. โHow much for (pick a sport/activity/lesson)? My kid isnโt even that good!โ
7. โI am going to work to support my family, I am a man!โ vs. Daycare bill. (Note: My children attend a very good daycare and I am not above a giving a plug — for a discount (unlikely)).
8. โLook at this house! I have all of this play area for my child.โ vs. โNow how in the hell do I fix that?โ
8a. โLook at this house! I have all of this play area for my child.โ vs. The wife :โWhelp, we are pregnant with number 2, and we need a bigger house.โ
9. โLook at this paycheck! I have made so much money!โ vs. โLook at this paystub! This canโt be all of the money!โ
I think Iโve just depressed myself.
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