How do I keep my kids’ greedy-ass palms off of my food?
Oldest daughter, grossed out:
“Put a shirt on!”
(Bouncing my pecs) “Why should I? I look damn good for my age!”
“Okay, that is just weird”
“Pretty sure your friends’ moms don’t think so…”
“That’s right! I am funny, good looking, and I rock the muscles; sorry, but I got it all. (Double bicep) I’m a hot dad…”
*shocked and mortified*
2004-2005: “I would love nothing more than to be married to you!”
2006-2013: “I would love nothing more than for you to go to the gym.”
2004-2005: I love the smell of your cologne.”
2006-2013: “YOU STINK!”
2004-2005: “What do you want to talk about.”
2006-2013: “Isn’t there something heavy you could be lifting? I have shows to watch!”
Guys, don’t act like I am the only one.
Hearing a juicy burp from Reese, I quickly survey the scene looking for any remnants. Thirty seconds later, I feel wetness going down the small of my back. “I couldn’t be sweating, could I?
There will be no more “Lion Kinging” This beast!
I now have to shower.
He spit up on me…
On my face.
He thinks that shit is funny.
I am traumatized.
After 4 kids, it is amazing that I even eat mustard anymore.
Yup, I went there.
Tips for many aspects of living
Dating, Poetry, and More
Commentary about those things I find interesting.