Father of the Year Moment #264: The Classics are Always Better

*My eldest, thinking she is big shit after beating Super Mario Brothers Wii…

Me: Let’s see how great you are with the original Mario Brothers…

*Pandemonium ensues:

You have to go one at a time?

Wait, 3 lives and you start over?

I have to do all of that again?

Wait, you can’t go backwards?

What are the other powers (there are none)?

There is no ice power?

You can’t fly?

Why is he so blocky?

How’d you get in that secret area?

How do you know all this?

What the heck! Why did the mushroom go the other way?

I don’t like this.

Father of the Year Moment #659: The Need For Speed

One of my fondest memories is when my dad brought home a remote control ‘57 Chevy (not one of those cheep ones with the cord attached that only turned left. No). That car could fit a GI Joe action figure inside.

Man was that thing fast!

It was only natural that my sons should have one, right?

Presenting my..er..my son’s first RC.

Tear. This is why I had sons.

Father of the Year Moment #399 – Re-discovery:

On my road trip to and from Iowa with My Oldest, I found out:

She is a fierce competitor, but does not have as much self-confidence as she puts out.

She runs like the wind, but has the running form of Popeye.

She does whatever is in her power to impress me and is upset with herself when I am not happy (even if it is not about her).

She is very funny, but she sucks at telling jokes.

She is kind.

She has a non-chalant attitude, but cares about other’s opinions.

She screams for independence but wants me right by her side.

She is very book smart, yet very gullible.

She loses everything. Usually, it is right in front of her.

She is very tall for her age and has huge feet, which is why people are surprised when they discover her age.

With all of my deadlines for work and school, I had barely noticed how she is becoming her own person. This is happening way too quickly!

Father of the Year Moment #493: Call the Question: The First Born, after picking her up from basketball camp…

“Dad, a friend wants me to go to the lake this weekend and I want to go.”

“Well, you do realize that you have State Track this weekend, right?”

Silence.

“Yeah. Not going.”

“What?! You qualified!”

“Yup. And I am not going.”

Silence.

“Why do you think I will agree to this?”

“I have done every activity you wanted (true), I have done well in sports and school (also true), and you said that I got to choose what I do this summer (shit) — I want to go to the lake!”

Okay, that last statement sounded like Heather when she stubbornly decides something, meaning I don’t really have a choice — kinda scary.

I knew this day was coming. I just didn’t know she would use her mother’s tone to make her point. Pray for me.

Father of the Year Moment #584: Pop Quiz.

Name an appropriate time to yell, “Are you F#$@ing kidding me!?”

a) At a Super Bowl party after your favorite team drops a pass in the end zone.

b) Somebody rear-ends you coming out of your parking space at Walmart.

c) Missing the Powerball Jackpot by one digit.

d)Your child does a #2 30-seconds after a change.

e)At an elementary 3-on-3 tournament where most of the participants are under the age of 10.

Apparently, for one parent at the Local 3-on-3 tournament, the answer today was “E”. 🏀🤬🕊️🦏

#Keepitclassy #WTF #cantbethefirsttime #yourecool #hatersgonnahate

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