Father of the Year Moment #493 – Therapy Awaits

‪Oldest daughter, grossed out:‬

‪“Put a shirt on!”‬

‪(Bouncing my pecs) “Why should I? I look damn good for my age!”‬

‪“Okay, that is just weird”‬

‪“Pretty sure your friends’ moms don’t think so…”‬

‪“What!”‬

‪“That’s right! I am funny, good looking, and I rock the muscles; sorry, but I got it all. (Double bicep) I’m a hot dad…”

*shocked and mortified*

‪“Mom!”‬

Father of the Year moment #66:

On the way home from track practice:

“You know when you get back, you have to go to bed.”

“No! I am not tired.”

“Yes you are! You won’t last the drive back.”

“Okay, I will make you a deal. If I am awake when we get to the house, then I get to stay up a little longer.”

“You won’t, but fine!”

(5 minutes later)

“Still up!”

(I turn the heat to 80 degrees)

(10 minutes later, I see her head shoot straight up)

“Still up!”

(I turn the radio to classical music – aaaand done)

1-0

BTW: She was not in this position the entire time.

Father of the Year Moment #653 – Change/Exchange:

Heather and one of the girls were going at it again at 7:30 a.m. when I intervene:

Me: That’s it! I am picking out your clothes today!

(I pick the ugliest shirts I can find)

Girls: No, dad!

M: I am sick of this arguing.

*off to school with them.

4 p.m. Text from Heather:

Just so you know, they changed shirts at school.

This fatherhood thing is hard. Danny Tanner and and Charles Ingalls are full of shit.

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