1. They are spoiled brats.

2. It is amazing they have friends. If I were their age, I would not be their friend.

3. “Dad! How do you play?!” Seriously! Mash buttons until you get it. How helpless can you get?

4. “This looks funny!” Yeah, well, it was made in 1991. By the way, you look funny!

5. “Dad! Something is wrong!” Yeah it says “press start”.

6. “This cord is too short.” Sit on the damn floor like normal children.

7. It is a two-player game; that just means we take turns playing.

8. It is a two-player game; get out of my space.

9. It is a two-player game; we are not on the same team, we are fighting each other.

10. His name is Yoshi; he is not a horse! No, I don’t know why a dinosaur is in the game!