You may not know this, but my kids are just a little big for their size, and people are sure quick to notice it. I present…
A Conversation with My Second Born Daughter’s Soccer Coach at Her First Game of the Season”
Coach: Hello, I am Coach —-
Me: Hi, David
C: This is your daughter?
Daughter: (staring off, not paying attention) Hi.
M: She is on your team. This is the Warriors, right?
C: (puzzled) Yes. She is on the Warriors?
M: Yes, she is six.
*She starts warming up.
C: (Perplexed) She…is six?
M: Yes, why?
C: (Utter shock) She is a giant.
I don’t think he realized what he was saying. He literally said, “Hey, nice to meet you! By the way, your kid is a freak!” But, at this point, I noticed that Gigantor was, in fact, head and shoulders taller than everyone else.
This is no surprise to Heather and I as it seems that my children were destined for this “fate of freakishness” at birth. The first daughter took four agonizing (for Heather) days of labor; the second: three days of labor before they finally did an ultrasound and discovered that our daughter was going to be between 8 and 15 pounds! The finally opted for a Caesarian (thank God she was only nine-and-a-half pounds; Heather really dodged a bullet there. Oh come on, it is a joke). By the time the third and fourth children came along, the C – section was scheduled and Heather made sure that every doctor and nurse in the building knew that when she requested meds, she got them — Immediately.
I don’t blame her.
Each of my children were born in the summer, which makes them the youngest in their class. When you look at their class pictures, you can not tell that they are up to a year younger than their peers. So, their size doesn’t really hit you until you go to a track meet or sports camp and the kids are divided by age.
Yup, there it is. They are at least a half-a-foot taller than everyone else.
Seriously. When the kids are all running it looks like Shriek chasing all of the little villiagers away.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that our family has won the genetic lottery. It makes for interesting sporting events. But, I also know that of all of my cousins, I am the shortest one (them 6’1″, 6’5″, 6’6″ – me: 5’10), so I know how quickly the tide can turn. But for now, i’ll take it.